Friday, November 04, 2005
Damn! Everytime we talk its like a energy rushing thru me I never felt before.I don't know what I'm gonna do with these emotions?!?...**sigh** I'm going to write...be back later
Posted at 9:37:07 am by Dattrustud
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
I think with the help of my very beautiful butterfly...I am evolving too.We seem to want the same things in love and have some very similar goals...could it be I've mistaken an impersonator as my soulmate? I admire Roz ,she's strong..something I've never really been able to be.My intentions when I first started this blog was too vent ya know?...to put the truth down on paper.What's funny is...since the very first entry I've been lying to myself about who I was and what I wanted.It's time for this to really be what its supposed to be...a Diary to carry on the legend of TRU. Truth and Soul from this entry forth....I'm missin' Roz's covo already,I know she's still smilin' tho....lol. I'm hurting right now.I talked to the ex I'm still in love with last night....It was....it was an EXPERIENCE for lack of a better word.I know she still loves me but we're in 2 different places right now,and neither one of us wants to get hurt again.Its weird cause then enters Roz. Now I know I'm easy to attach to people but this is different.I feel SPIRITUALLY connected with Roz, she's my smile right now...everything I need.I'm listening to hypothetically...Roz and I just finished blazin' 2gether over the phone...it was soooo cool...but now I'm back in love. Wanna know a secret? ...I wish It could've been Roz.Why? ..I think we would've made it . However fate decided on Dee and I've accepted the fact that I might be unhappy for a long long time.With that atleast I can be content with knowing that my UK BOO will be there for me no matter what...And that my friends is PRICELESS.I'm not feelin' this mood right now tho I think I need a pick me up...soooooo I'm blazin' up again ...Imma get back at yall later tho.Right now, its been real but I'm out! Jah Bless!
Posted at 5:01:05 pm by Dattrustud
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Time to begin getting ready for my day JOB...note I said Job...lol. Writing is my career just you wait .Imma be on HBO oneday....oneday sooner than EVEN I think.Cross ya fingers for me.....until then I'll holla at yall after I get home tonight.Have fun for me my people.....and Fade to Black cuz TRU is out ;) !
Posted at 7:45:42 am by Dattrustud
Wow...I been talking 2 "her" alot more lately and I really think I got a small crush beginning to form on her.She's so incredibly sweet and our vibes connect on such a much higher level. We're a unique type of friends and I'm positive its gonna be a union thats adored for years.I hate all the drama thats been goin on in my life for the past few months but now I just take refuge in knowing that God has sent her to me...and everyday she continues to make me smile.I thank him for that...and I thank her for doing his will. Anywayz...........enough about my sweetie Roz...lemme tell you what's been goin' on.Well too too much has been going up and thru this head of mine.let's see first off I fell in love with a very beautiful woman whom I will ALWAYS adore and once again I fucked it up.She was is so right for me too and to be honest...I never experienced a love like hers and now that its gone I feel kinda lost and confused.It's weird but now she has less than a few words to say to me and I think that kills me most.I'm so so tired of missing her *sigh* I moved out and moved back in to my moms house due to my own personal sickness and personal drama.I'm such distorted view of myself right now...damn near everything is a blurr. *whew* I'm writing more and more lately.Poems are flowing even more stronger than they did before .THAT is the only good thing thats come of all this chaos in my life.Chaos that I gottas deal with.Oh Roz...why do I always need you after the fact.????. Regardless of when or where tho my boo gives me a loving nurturing friendship,that I'll always hold close to me.Afterall not many people would call you from LONDON more than once a day every couple of days and talk to you for an hour or so at a time.I don't know about anybody else but Her dedication and devotion to the growth of our friendship is remarkable and definately appreciated by me.If you're reading this Thank you Roz *muuuuaaahhh* Jah Bless you ...you're MORE THAN BEAUTIFUL :)
Posted at 7:38:56 am by Dattrustud
Friday, October 28, 2005
Gone Wayyyyyyyyy Too Long
It's been one hell of a year and I got soooo much to tell,say,yell,vent.....just express out loud.I guess the most pressing issue is my ex.I've been trying to talk to her lately but it seems she just doesn't have too much to say.*sigh*I haven't missed anybody this damn much in a long time! Oh,but oh it's been a stressful few months ...question is can I come out of it with a smile or will it keep eating at me till there's nothin' left???? After a few more entries you be the judge and tell me!
Posted at 7:03:28 pm by Dattrustud
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Seems like foreva since I last blogged,but nothing really new has happened to me.I've been workin' and pretty much just tryin to get my life back on track.I'm doin' alot more getting out now and i'm looking forward to doing alot more travelling.I actually miss being on the road alot.I don't really like to drive but I'll deal to be able to get away from here and see new faces and new places.I talked to an ex g/f of mine today and I'm really thinkin' about takin' a trip back down to South Carolina real soon.Onli one prob....think I might get my ass kicked if I don't go to Maryland first....lol .Right Mami???Anywayz,I gotta see my Angel first cuz I'm tired of her thinkin' I'm lyin' to her.Uuuuggghhhhh! I am so damn tired of the same repetitive things in my life,I gotta turn my life around...no,I'm gonna turn my life around.Mold it into everything I want it to be and more.......In tha words of my baby Mary J...I just wanna be happy! Pretty soon I'm gonna be doin' some real big things....just wait and see,Some real big things.
It time for me to go already got more poetry to write and more hearts to touch but I'll be back sooner than later this time....I promise!
For my Angel.........Ella es mi mami y soy su amor de papi....I'll usted Candi hasta finales del tiempo!
To those who don't know....Ella is mi angel y el amor mi vida & Mis golpes del corazon para su amor.
Posted at 9:44:48 pm by Dattrustud
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Another long day....I guess I really did get into the laziness of being on leave but of course a sista got bills to pay so you know what that means....had ta get off my ass and make some moves.Now I'm back and I'm in full effect . I been having alot on my mind lately......and quite frankly I don't know where to start picking things apart. I have alot of things to get over and thru ,down and around. I miss Femintellect so damn bad sometimes ...ioon know it's something in her touch,her eyes,or maybe even her smile.I can't figure it out but it's there...this much I do know.
LETTER TO MY FRIEND......
For some reason I am so tired,I feel just like I could fall out somewhere and sleep for days.I finally got up with my friend and she's going thru some real emotional things...apparently from her blog she took a few things I said in a previous entry to heart.Kim...I never want you to think that u burden me...I offer my friendship to you whole heartedly dawg.When I said "pity party" I use that for lack of a better way to express myself.All I meant was I don't wanna be supportin' u if it's only gonna make you depend on me or anyone else more.I want you to be strong and stand on your own 2 feet.You are "my friend" and dawg I don't use that term loosely (when I say it damn sure know I mean it !).I only want you to see there's so much more than you see and yeah I know how you feel....cause I've been there before..as a matter of fact I've been beneath the ground.It's not hard picking yourself up from such a deep place...feels like you have nothing, having a hole in your heart the size of the world that just constantly aches and aches.Yeah I've loved,I've loved so hard it cost me blood not to mention parts of my sanity that'll never fully recover from the damage.I hold my hand out to you b/c I've walked the path you're on and with the grace of God found my way back to the ROAD I was destined to be on....I got my hand out cause I want u to hold on tight and travel the road with me.Thr right road Kim...our destined road.DON'T Look Back....that's a common mistake we all make.We keep looking back as long as you're lookin back you'll never move forward.Maybe what you're looking for isn't gone it's just waiting for you on the road ahead.Maybe it's past you and is waiting for you to catch up,once you've grown...once you've matured.Age is only a number in order to be mature fo real...yo mind gotta be mature,everything else comes second.Realize when it's time to let that catepillar go and watch it come back as a butterfly..............I have.
Posted at 5:33:31 pm by Dattrustud
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Well my first day as a CBS (Community Based Service) Worker went exceptionally well yesterday.I have 2 clients one of wich is an older man whose going back to school for his GED despite his challenge and the 2nd is a 15 year old boy who needs a lil care and counseling.....this is a definate step in the direction I've wanted to be in for years.I'm lovin' this job already. I had fun reminiscing with my first case...reminiscing of how much I detest math that is...lol.All in all it wasn't too bad,I guess I really needed to clean up them cobwebs in my brain anyway (smile).
I'm gettin kinda worried now about my friend CT...the one who dosen't deem life worth living anymore.....well she can't be found and I haven't ssen her online.I really hope she hasn't decided to actually do what she been threatening to do for so long.I'm not gonna think too negative though,I'm just gonna pray that she didn't take the easy way out and that she just needed a break from the mainstream to give herself some healing time.A mutual friend has been going by looking for her ,but she's yet to be seen.I live too far to be checking for her evryday so all I can do is basically sit,wait,and pray.KIM, if you're reading this....We Miss You! and we want you to come back home.You're not alone and you ain't gotta go thru this by yourself.I'm here for you,Let's weather this storm together!
GOD,I hope she hears me.
Well nothing else is really going on so I guess I'll be getting ready for my second day of ummm work.I gotta get up,get dressed,and get out so I'll be back later this evening hopefully with a lil bit more to say.Till then.... YALL BE EASY!!
Posted at 7:25:00 am by Dattrustud
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Well thanx to my fam at 6CC,my peeps around hurrr my lil cuzz slim and Makeemloveit.....I had a ball yesterday.I didn't get to stay out long last night b/c of a fam emergency but it's cool cause the time that I did party.....I made the fu**in best of it.Man.....Never knew it would feel so good to turn 32.
God blessed me with a new job ...in my field (yes!!) and on my b/d at that! OMG...this has been the best birthday I had in a long,long time.I like my friend CTand I really care about what happens to her but I swear I couldn't listen to her troubles yesterday.Not to be mean ya know but i ain't want nuthin' to kill my mood.Guess I'll be makin it up to her today (smile).Damn I must admit...today is the aftermath but it's still on for the weekend.I gots even mo partyin' to do!!! Today if the weather holds up it's cookout time.Precelebration for my girl,my son,and a continuation for me! Shay(Makeemloveit's b/d is Sunday the 6th,Myke (my son) has just knocked out the EOG test and was promoted to 5th grade so it's a party for him,And me................well u know how I do!!
It's still early right now and I'm still a lil tipsy so Imma be out for awhile but best believe I'll holla back when tha swellin' goes down...lol.
Posted at 7:20:38 am by Dattrustud
Friday, June 04, 2004
Todays A Special Day For Me
Yeah its muh Burfday !!! gotta continue on with gettin' my drink on but no need to worry I'll be back as soon as I can see straight again...lol. Till I do.....BE EASY!
Well I'm back but only for a sec I'm bout to go back out wit my lil cuz slim and do some thangs wit a few honey's from round tha way.Nah....I'm Kinda kiddin' (winkin' wit a sneaky ass amile).I can't get into all the details but just know a nigga had fun.My angel (Candi) called me this afternoon when she got off work and sang happy burfday to me then my boo boo (femintellect) called me tonight and sang to me too.Damn when u surround yo self with good peoples u get a blessin' everyday! Thanx you guys yall really helped to make my day a memorable one.Rest assured the favor will be returned and then some (wink).
Makeemloveit gave me kisses all day today mixed with alot of love and support I swear sometimes I just wanna wife her even though 75% of tha time she pissin' me off...lol.OMG!! one more thing before I go...I think I told Reese I had a crush on her.Do you know.....I HAD to be out my damn mind..lol.She is the only woman in 6CC I been dying to talk to but couldn't get myself to man up to doing it now that I officially been IM'd, to wish me a happy one,I gotta keep up...you know, just to make sure she doin aiight (i'm such a punk..lol).Anywayz,I really gotta be out now....Slim is makin' me wanna knock her ass out rushin' me and shyt but I'll get at yall tomorrow .....dat's my word!
Posted at 11:51:14 pm by Dattrustud
